i just google imaged poop.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
