just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
