break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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