You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize