i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
