So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
