Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
