What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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