shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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