6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
