The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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