would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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