Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
