She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
