Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
