We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
