the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
