new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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