I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
