so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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