i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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