is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I deserve this hangover.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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