Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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