let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
It's official drugs can't kill me
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
