she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
