Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
