i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
