The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Everclear isn't food dammit
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
