I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
