I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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