i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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