Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
