...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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