I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
