i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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