like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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