I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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