Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
