and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick