he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize