Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
