I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
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I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
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We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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