What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
