I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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