it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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