god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Its about making memories worth repressing
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
