I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
be right there i have to get my cape
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize