Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
