Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
