There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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