By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
