like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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