could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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