id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
