@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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