how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
