I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
