If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
