I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
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I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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